Gift of Toy Car

A post by one of my Facebook friends inspired me to write this. In her post, she narrated the sentimental value of a watch which was gifted to her by her Dad on her High School graduation. She went on to say how precious the gift was and how even the mechanically dysfunctional watch refreshes her memories. Her post took me to a journey through my memory lane.

Almost around the same time period my friend received the gift from her father, a conversation took place with me and my eldest nephew. He then used to live with us as we both were working in the same city. Every month my nephew bring home some or the other gifts and give to my children. Most often, the gift used to be good quality toy cars.  My elder child was then under 8 and the younger one under 3. Over a period my children had a good collection of these toy cars. Once I asked my nephew, why are you bringing these toys every month? The children now got enough of them. Here is how he replied.  “Mama (is how my nephew used to affectionately call me), don’t stop me from what I am doing. You probably don’t know the value of toys, especially when you receive it as a gift. I have often watched my friends proudly display and tell stories about the gifts that they received in my childhood. I often wished if I had someone who would gift me one. I can afford it now, so I am buying and giving to those whom I love. When I see the happiness in the children when they receive these little things, I recall my childhood, feel as if my desire is getting fulfilled. I will continue to do this as long as I can afford. It is a wealth I accumulate much more than what I do by investing my money somewhere else”.

I did not discourage my nephew from continuing his indulgence, probably because the beneficiaries were my own children. Knowing me what I am when comes to utilizing your resources, I think I would have reacted differently and given some stupid lecture on financial responsibility etc. I was too naïve to understand the joy of toys and gifts. I continued to be so several years after that, may be even now. I continued to treat gifts as objects and assessed it based on its utility in fulfilling the necessities of life. It took several insensitive and deplorable actions on my part before I realized that gifts has more value than the dollar or rupee that could buy that item. I want to narrate two of several such insensitive actions of mine without realizing that those were hurtful.

One day I had some additional documents to carry to my work. I was searching for a bag and my daughter came and gave me a nice shoulder bag. It was a handicraft product one of her cousins sent a gift. In the office a colleague of mine said she liked the bag. I told my colleague that if she like it so much she can have it. My colleague told no but I insisted that the bag is from India and if she so much liked it, she can take it and I will buy another one for my daughter during my next trip to India. I gave the bag to that colleague. I came back home and narrated the story to my daughter and wife. My daughter who is by nature a benevolent giver, did not express any emotions in my magnanimity at that time, nor did she complain much. However, several years after that incident she still remembered that I parted away her precious gift to someone else without even consulting her. It took years for me to realize that it is not the material and the design of the bag but the sentiments associated with giver and the gift which is irreplaceable.

The second incident was more unpalatable than the first. I met the wife of one of my nephews several year after their marriage. Our trip home hardly happened around the same time as we lived in two different continents. She brought two gifts for us. One for me and another one for my wife. I accepted my gift and thanked her for it. I on the same spot gave away the same gift to one of my siblings. Little did I realize that I could hurt her sentiments by not keeping the gift which she took all the pain to shop and wrap with love and sentiments.  I learnt it later but it was too late before I realized that no amount of apology would heal the wounds of hurt I inflicted on her.

Unknowingly, we part away things to others without realizing the sentimental value associated with it. As a child, I was raised in a big family and somehow developed a habit of sharing what you have with others. I valued and enjoyed it all along.  But incidents like the above and several other things in life taught me that possessiveness is not a sin when it comes to love and sentiments.